Ghost sex

[Erica]

A professor at the University of Florida was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Bubba replied, 'Shiiiit!! From way back there I thought you said Goats.

[Mr GRiM]

:roflmao: :roflmao:

[bgjerlow designs]

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

[edrik]

lol

[edrik]

Okay I got one too :p

A man that survived a plane crash got stranded on an island and has been living there for several months, time came and he felt his "needs" and since there's no one else living on the island he had his eyes set on a camel he found on the island. But his problems only got worse because he reach for the camel's (you know...) so what he did is he took a stool and tried again to put it in but the camel keeps on moving away, he tries it again... but again the camel moved away. Days went past, he still cant get the camel.. but one fateful night another plane crashed on the island so the man went around to see if there were any survivors. From afar he saw someone trying to swim towards the island so he dived into the water to lend that person a hand and when he reached the survivor, he found out that it was a woman.
The man is in LUCK!!
So the woman said, "Thank you, in return for saving my life you can do anything you want to me".
The man replied, "REALLY ?!?!"
The woman blushed and answered, "Yes.. tell me anything I'll do anything for you"
The man said, "Okay then, come with me..."
So the man grabbed the woman by her hand and went towards the camel.
The man said, "Can you hold her still? She keeps on moving everytime i try to put it in"
XD

[opalo153]

thats so weird....xD

[121294]

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did. :-D

[121294]

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a ****?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a ****!

[121294]

I've got sum :cool:

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he can always eat.
If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".

A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

[121294]

Another one i found on internet :o

One man (lets call him Robert) came to gun shop.
R(obert):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
R: (points at biggest pistol) I want this one!
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
R: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
R: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
R: Umm...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans, Ameri-cans, ...

[Pv37K]

Hahahaha :D

[Kevin Marshall]

3 guys were in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst and programmer. The systems analyst is running and when they come to a steep hill, he found that the brakes failed and the car accelerates out of control. Thus, the driver pumps the emergency brakes, gears and friction wheel rims downshifts under braking. Finally, he discussed the car stopped. The rise three and assess the situation. Tech equipments make it look. I crawled under the car and one shot. Computer analyst:"No, I think we should find someone qualified to repair it, a specialist in brakes".Programs: Why not just go back and see if it happens again?