Well, if anyone else is in the same boat, I found a tweak to fix jump lists in some random deviantart comment. This version of the theme has white titles, and also some Win 7 style min/max/close buttons, which I kinda like. No jumplist bug, which was the big PITA. Includes the correct version of UXStyle for Win 8.1. Run it, then put all the theme stuff in Windows/resources/themes.

https://www.masiup.com/5z3f